Wednesday August 28, 2019
I know it may seem silly and superfluous to celebrate a dating anniversary once you also have a wedding anniversary, but I’ve always loved acknowledging that summer day (eleven years ago!!) where Daniel and I took our almost nine years of friendship to the next level ;) We were both home for the summer after finishing our freshman year of college and it finally felt like the right time to say the thing I inexplicably knew all along: you’re my person. But that’s a story for another day.
Eleven years later - including five years of marriage, a cross-country adventure, and having our sweet Haley girl - our lives look wildly different than they did when we first started dating. The obvious things, of course, like marriage and our budding careers and becoming parents, but also in the subtleties. Trust and transparency. The rough edges of our early years softening into a deeper, patient, more abiding love. Being slower to assume, quicker to understand and even appreciate our intrinsic differences. Learning one another’s nuances and habits so instinctually, like when we leave the house, lock the door, and get into the car and I shout, “OH NO, my phone!!!!”, and Daniel smiles and pats his pocket (this literally happens at least 3x a week, haha), or my remembering to give him space for that half-hour before bed so he can decompress (even though I actually want to ask 100 questions about his day).
I also love remembering our anniversary, 8.28, because it always calls to mind one of my favorite verses, Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
This truth anchors me when I’m prone to complaining, shaking my fist at our current schedules for leaving us like ships passing in the night. I remember that we’ve been given the gift of twenty years of friendship and eleven years of dating + marriage to be our foundation in busier seasons like these.
It reassures me when I’m quick to long for a bigger space, convincing myself that a larger square footage would give us more sanity, more joy. I remember that these years of living in close quarters are cultivating intimacy, laughter, gratitude and friendship in our marriage that perhaps more distance between us might not.
It quiets me when I’m anxious about the future, wondering if we’ll be hit with some unforeseen tragedy or be able to pay for Haley’s college. I remember that our lives are secure - beyond our health, beyond our finances - today, tomorrow, and always.
In the midst of a season of catching up over spilled sippy cups, taking turns rushing out the door with hurried “love you’s!”, swapping laundry and dishwasher duties, I’m so, so grateful that our schedules miraculously aligned for us to spend this day as a family, doing nothing grandiose or fancy - simply being together. Small gifts like these remind me that we’re seen, known, and loved. Looking forward to seeing, knowing, and loving one another better one year at a time, hopefully for a lifetime.
to loving well,